


It all started with a video

by danandphiltrash2002



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Chica - Freeform, Cutting, Depression, Edgar - Freeform, M/M, Slow Burn, TW pretty bad, maya - Freeform, mentions of cutting, selfharm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2019-07-30 00:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16275245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danandphiltrash2002/pseuds/danandphiltrash2002
Summary: Jack is sad, so mark and Felix visit him, and they find out more than they expected





	1. The first signs

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, girls, non-binary beings, I’m here with that fanfiction nobody asked for... enjoy!

I usually stick to my usual routine. Wake up. Shower. Get dressed. Eat. Coffee. Record. Sleep. Repeat. But lately it’s been getting tiring. I never have time to leave the house, unless it’s for a video, or I’m buying food. I never have time to talk to Mark or Felix, unless we’re doing a collab, which rarely happens anymore. I feel like they’re pulling away from me, but maybe I’m crazy. Who knows? Who cares anymore, really?

 

“Top of the mornin’ to yeh laddies! My name is jacksepticeye, and I’m back with a jacksepticeyes funniest home videos! Now I’ve sent my little elf, robin, out into the wide world of the internet to you guys to get some funny videos! Let’s dive right in!” I force my lips into a fake smile, but robin seems to buy it, as he grins and sticks his thumbs up at me. I click on the first video and fake smile and laugh. One down, nine to go.

 

“Jack, that was a good video! Your fans are going to love it!” Robin says, and I force my lips to move upwards. “Thanks, robin. I’ve got to run out now, so I’ll talk to you later.” I wave and walk out the door before he can stop me. I pull my jumper around me and walk. I don’t even know where I’m walking to, I’m just walking. I walk for hours, at least two hours. A loud, shrill sound makes me jump, before I realise it’s my phone. I pull it out of my pocket and check it.  
Mark: I’m coming to Ireland to see you


	2. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark calls Felix, and Felix decides to go with mark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it’s really cringey, I haven’t written many fan fictions before.

“Felix, have you seen jacks most recent video?”  
“No, why? Is he ok?”  
“I don’t think so. He just seemed so... I don’t know. Not himself. His smiles were so fake, man. I’m worried about him.”  
“What are we going to do about it though, Mark? You can’t do anything from America. And I don’t think I can fly there at the moment, I’ve been so busy.”  
“I’ve bought tickets to Ireland. I’m flying there tomorrow. I sent him a message. I’m just worried that he’s depressed, Felix. And ever since his girlfriend left, he hasn’t been the happiest. If you want, I can get you over there too.”  
“I don’t know, Mark. I can try and free my schedule, but it won’t be easy.”  
“Well, just think about it? Please? Jack needs us, Felix. I don’t want to let him down.” I hear his hum of thought. “Alright. Let me pack my shit, and I’ll book a flight for the same time. We can meet up at the airport, then go to jacks house together. We’ll need to book a hotel, and make some videos to store. I can book a hotel, if you’d like.”  
“Ok. And Felix, Thankyou so much.”  
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you soon, Mark.” The line goes dead, and I sigh. I check my luggage, that it’s all packed, and then head for a shower. The water runs over the aches in my neck and I can feel the tension seeping out of me. As soon as I’m dressed, I lay on my bed and crash. It’d been a busy day.

I enter the airport and head towards my flight. I board the plane and fall asleep. A flight attendant wakes me up a few minutes before we land and I thank her. I get off the plane and walk into the airport. “Mark! Hey, bro!” I jump and turn around. “Hey, Felix! Let’s get out of here before a fan recognises us, yeah?” Felix nods and picks his suitcase up. “So, where’s our hotel?” I ask him, and he grins at me. “This way.” He walks down the foot path, and hails a cab. We climb in and Felix tells the driver the destination. We arrive at the hotel a few minutes later. We go in and into our seperate rooms. We’ve decided to go check on jack tomorrow so that we can get rid of our jet lag and be alert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, ideas and kudos are much appreciated


	3. I’m ok, I promise (no I’m not, hold me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack tries to tell mark and Felix he’s ok, but ends up slipping up and saying he’s not

I pace my bedroom, thinking. Mark sent me that text, but he didn’t say when. What if he was on a plane right now? What if he wasn’t? I don’t know which I’m more scared of, to be honest. Why is he coming to Ireland? Is he just visiting? My thinking is disturbed by a knock at the door, and I freeze. It’s probably just robin. Relax. “It’s unlocked, robin! Just come on in!” I call. The door opens, but it’s not robin.   
“Hey, jackaboy! How’s things?” What the fuck? “Felix! What the fuck are you doing at my apartment?” I shout at him. “Don’t shout at him, I invited him to come with me.” As soon as I hear his voice, I freeze. “M-Mark?” I stutter. “Hey, jack. Sorry I didn’t give you much warning. And I should’ve told you Felix was coming.” He smiles sheepishly. “No, it’s ok. I just wasn’t expecting to see him.” I walk forwards to stand in front of them. “Felix, I am sorry for shouting at you.” He shrugs and wraps his arms around me. I hug him back briefly then pull back. I turn to Mark. “Hey Mark. Sorry for the not-so-warm welcome.” He smiles and hugs me. My heartbeat goes wild. “It’s all good, jack.” I pull away and feel my lips rise. “Why are you guys here?” I ask, and they glance at each other. “Can we sit and talk to you?” Felix asks, and I lead them to my sitting room. “Ok, so can somebody please tell me why you’re here?” I ask, annoyed.   
“Jack, I was worried. So I called Felix, and we arranged to come see you. I watched your latest video, jack, and it was... good, but you weren’t you, and I was worried about you because you were pulling fake smiles left and right and fucking everywhere, and your laugh, your laugh was so fucking fake, and you’re normally such a happy bubbly person, and I was worried you were getting lonely, or depressed, because you weren’t, you weren’t fucking you! And I know that sounds slightly weird, but it’s true! Felix, tell him!” Mark gestures at me. “Ok, Mark, calm down. Felix, you don’t need to tell me. I’m really glad to have friends like you. I am lonely, and I probably am depressed. But I’m ok. Really. You didn’t need to fly over from America and Brighton, just to make sure I’m ok. Because I’m fine. Just tired.”  
“Don’t give us that bullshit, jack! We came over because we were worried about our best friend, and we’re not going back until we think you’re ok!” Felix bursts suddenly. “Well you may as well leave, because I’m fucking fine!” I shout back. “No, you’re not jack. Otherwise you wouldn’t shout at us.” I turn to Mark.   
“No, Mark! You don’t get to have a say! Because you will never understand what’s wrong with me, because you will never know what it feels like! Now if you’re going to keep arguing with me, you can get the fuck out of my apartment!” I shout. His face crumples, and regret immediately seeps through me. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Mark. I don’t want you to leave.” I reach to touch his arm, but Felix slaps my hands away and glares at me. “Fine, we’ll leave, but we’re coming back tomorrow.”


	4. Ok sorry not an actual chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry please don’t kill me in my sleep

So, I’m going to put it plain and simple. I started this fic a couple of days ago, with the intention to update regularly. But my schoolwork and training are not allowing me to do this as regularly as I’d like. I’m not ending the fic, just letting you guys know it’s going to be going a little bit slow. Everything should be good again soon when I finish year eleven, but until things might be slow. If you have any questions, just leave a comment below.   
I LOVE YOU ALL AND IM REALLY SORRY FOR THIS


	5. Not you too mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark is upset about what happened and Felix talks to him about it. They come up with a plan to show jack they care. Kind of just a filler chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys and girls for being so understanding about everything. You’re all gems and I love you all.

“Mark? Please say something.” He just keeps staring ahead. “Mark, please. You’re scaring me.” Silence. “Mark! For fucks sake! Say something, please!”  
“Well, what the fuck do you want me to say?”  
“Just tell me why you’re so upset!”  
“Because one of the people I love the most is hurting, Felix! And it’s so hard to see him hurting! Felix, it’s so hard, and I just want to see him happy again.”  
“I know, Mark. The person I love is hurting too, and it kills to see them hurt. I hate seeing him hurt. He’s hurting right now, and I can’t do anything to stop it. You’re not alone in this Mark. I’m always here for you. You’ve just got to let me in.” I reach over and ruffle his hair. He looks up and smiles at me. “Thanks, fe.”  
“Jack didn’t mean anything he said, if it makes you feel any better.”  
“I know, I just don’t like seeing him hurt this way. Like, he’s my best friend, and I love him, you know?”  
“I do know. I also know why he’s pushing you away.”  
“What? Felix,tell me!”  
“Mark, you haven’t spoken to him in ages. Neither have I. He’s probably feeling neglected, ignored. We’ve done so many collaborations lately, but we haven’t included him! How do you think that makes him feel?”  
“Like shit. Fuck, I feel like such a bad friend now. How do we make it up to him, fe?”  
“We show him we care.”

“Felix, wake up. Felix. Felix, for fucks sake, man, wake up! How can you sleep so deeply?”  
“Hmm? What?”  
“Ugh, about time! Wake up, we need to get going to see jack soon!” I smack him with a pillow. “Ow! Fuck off, man! Get out so I can change.”  
I leave the room and sit just outside Felix’s door. “Alrighty Mark! Let’s go tackle this Irish bastard with our love!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of just a filler?


	6. A grand scheme to see the light of day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Felix come up with a plan to get jack out of the flat

I raise my hand to the door and knock twice. The door opens and a pair of blue eyes stare out at me. “Felix. Mark. Come in.” Jack opens the door more to let us in.   
“Would you like a drink? I have shit loads of coffee, so if you want coffee, I can make that for you.”   
“Sure. Thanks, jack.” Mark says, and shuts the door behind us. “Mark, this is really awkward.” I say once jacks out of the room. “I know. Just let him adjust, fe.” I nod. “Okay.” I try to stop my hands from shaking and Mark reaches over and covers my hands with his.   
“Felix, relax. It’s not like he’s going to hurt you or anything.” I roll my eyes. “As if me, a Swedish Viking, couldn’t take an Irish potato.” I scoff. Now it’s marks turn to roll his eyes.   
“I’m going to go check on him. I’ll be right back.”   
I head into the kitchen to check on him, and find him next to the kettle and the sink. “Jack? Are you alright?”   
He jumps slightly.   
“Yeah, Felix, I’m ok.” I walk up to stand next to him and lean against the counter. He turns to face me and I see tears pooling in his eyes and wet streaks running down his face. I pull him into a tight hug. He wraps his arms around me tightly.   
“Please don’t leave. I didn’t mean to be so rude yesterday. I was just so, shocked, and surprised and I’ve been so jumpy lately, and I took that out on you and mark. And that was wrong of me. Just, please, Felix, don’t leave.”  
“You Irish potato, I am not going anywhere until I know you’re okay.” I pull him closer to my chest. He sniffs, and pulls away.  
“Hey, I missed out on the cuddles! Aw man, that sucks!”   
Jack laughs at mark and rushes forwards to give him a hug.   
“Woo! Yeah, hugs for everyone!” Mark cries. We all start laughing.   
“Jack, lets have coffee, then mark and I are taking you out.”  
“We are?” I give him a look over jacks shoulder.   
“Yes, we are. We’re going to take him to a water park, just because we can.”  
“Well, that sounds like a legitimate reason if there ever was one.”  
Jack finishes the coffees, and we quickly drink them. “Shit! Felix, we don’t have any bathers! What are we going to wear?” Mark cries. “Relax, I dropped by the store before I packed in England, and I picked us both up some bathers. I had this planned since you called me telling me you were coming. Now, drink your coffee, we need to go!”  
“Argh, so much information! Ok, let’s do this!” He drinks his coffee in three gulps and beams at me with pride. “Can we go now?” I ask jack. “Sure. Let me grab my things and then we can go.”


	7. Slippery slides and pools of confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to the water park and stuff happens  
> Sorry worst chapter summary ever xD

We climb out of the car and walk into the park. “Ok, let’s go get changed, and I’ll meet you and Felix out here afterwards, ok?” Mark says. We head into seperate bathrooms and I pull my shirt over my head, and throw it into my bag. I take my jeans off and put them in the bag too. I pull my board shorts on and grab my bag. I unlock the door quickly, and in my rush, knock into mark on my way out. My skin tingles where he grabs my arm to stop me from falling, and I feel my cheeks heating up. “Sorry.” I mumble. He laughs it off and smiles at me. My heart soars seeing his smile. I grin back at him. An arm slides around my shoulders and I jump. “Hey, bitches, let go ride some slides!”

An hour later, I’m already exhausted, but having fun all the same. “Mark, I think we might need some food.” Felix says after his stomach grumbles loud enough for all of us to hear. “Yeah, probably a good idea. Jack, what do you want?” I jump at the mention of my name, then shrug. “I’ll have whatever you two have.” I mumble, wrapping my arms around my body. “And we’re having whatever you want. So what do you want?” Felix pushes. “I’m fine with whatever, Felix!” I snap. I immediately feel guilty and look down at the ground. “Fine.” He shoots back. “Maybe we should just go home.” I say. “No way, jack. We brought you out here to have fun, not to argue with you. Now, we’re going to have lunch, then we’re going to keep having fun. We can make a vlog if you want, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I shake my head. “No thankyou.”  
“Ok. That’s ok too, jack.”  
“It’s Sean. My name is Sean.”  
“You want us to call you Sean instead of jack?”  
“Sean is my real name, jack is my YouTube name.”  
“Oh, ok! That’s cool, man.”

After lunch, we head out to the pool. “Yo, Sean, wanna come swim with me?”  
Mark calls to me. “Yeah, sure!”  
I walk over slowly, looking at the ground, looking up every now and then to make sure I don’t walk into anything. I look up again at mark, and catch him staring at me. He blushes at having being caught, but shakes it off like it’s nothing. Could it be possible that this beautiful man could like me back? Of course not. I could still dream though. I walk down the steps into the pool and swim over to mark. He splashes me and I splutter, not expecting it. He looks slightly guilty for a moment, until I splash him back and he gives me an evil grin.  
“Fuck. What have I done?” I jokingly cry.  
He splashes me again, sending a massive wave of water towards me. I close my eyes to avoid getting water in them. When I open them again, Marks right in front of me. I push him, and he wraps his arms around my waist and picks me up, spinning me around, until I feel a little dizzy. But he’s managed to do something amazing, he’s managed to get me laughing and smiling again, something I haven’t done for real in months. He sets me down in front of him, and I smile at him.  
“You’re smiling, Sean!” He beams at me. I laugh with joy along with him.  
“You know, I’m glad you came over. I was really lonely.” He pulls me into a hug, which is slight awkward, seen as though we’re both shirtless. When he pulls away, he stares into my eyes for a few moments. “What?” I ask, suddenly self conscious. Suddenly, without any warning, he leans forwards and presses his lips to mine. I’m so shocked that I don’t respond. He pulls away, his eyes slightly panicky and stares at me, with my eyes wide in a face of surprise.  
“Fuck, Sean, I’m so sorry! I really shouldn’t have done that. I understand if you hate me now, I would hate me too, I totally-“ I cut him off by pressing my lips against his, and loving the way he moves his lips against mine. But, of course, it’s ruined by something.  
“Yo, lover boys, save it for home!” Felix yells, laughing his dumb ass off. I roll my eyes, looking at mark, who’s smiling with laughter in his eyes. He jumps into the pool, splashing us both, making us laugh like crazy men. 

After we get out of the pool, we go on the slides one last time, then pack up our stuff to head home. “Ok, this has been the best data I’ve had in a long time.” Mark and Felix turn towards me. “Well, I’m glad seeing you guys eating each other’s faces gave you some enjoyment.” Felix fake scowls. I chuckle. Mark slides his arm around my waist and I blush. We hand our passes back to the receptionist and make our way to the car. Mark and I both climb in the back and I fall asleep with my head on his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y’all want to contact me my discord is josh dun is my daddy#7899 so hit me up if you wanna talk about the fic, or give me ideas, or even if you want to talk


	8. Sleeping beauty and confessions of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter tbh  
> Jack is asleep and mark loves him so much  
> Also it’s a really REALLY REALLY short chapter  
> SO I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the story, and the end notes are really important

I look down at the man sleeping on my shoulder and my heart soars as I remember the kiss. His lips had felt so good on mine, and the feeling of his body against mine. I want to kiss him, to hold him tight and fight away all of his fears. I want to keep this man, this beautiful being, safe from all harm and bad thoughts.  
“Mark?” A voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I look up and see Felix looking at me in the mirror.   
“What’s up, Fe?” I ask softly.   
“You love him, don’t you?” He glances at me again.  
“Yeah, I really do. To the moon and back for infinity.” I reply quietly, smiling softly at the man on my shoulder. “He’s gorgeous, and I never want him to hurt again.”   
Felix just smiles at me in the mirror.

 

 

I am going to try and have the next chapter out soon  
And also tomorrow is my last day of year 11! Wooo I will have time to write again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is pretty triggering, so if you’re triggered by self harm, depression and cutting, DO NOT READ. I love you all and I don’t want to have anybody getting upset and possibly hurting themselves because of my writing. Stay alive, friends.
> 
> Also, I now have a discord server for all my works! The link is https://discord.gg/MXZbrG  
> I accept prompts in the server too, there’s a special channel assigned just for it. Make sure you join if you are enjoying this work, and feel free to leave a comment and a kudos ❤️


	9. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has a bad dream while sleeping on marks shoulder.  
> TRIGGER WARNING THERE IS SELF HARM AND CUTTING IN THIS CHAPTER  
> PLEASE BE CAREFUL AND STAY STRONG I LOVE YOU ALL

Blood. So much blood. Why does this happen? Why do I do this to myself? Tears slip down my face, sobs jumping from my lips. I slide the blade over my wrists again and again, leaving bright red lines in their wake, blood already beading in them. It hurts. It hurts so much, yet I keep going. The thoughts, they keep going too.  
FAT.  
slice.  
UGLY.  
slice.  
STUPID.  
slice.  
USELESS.  
slice.  
WORTHLESS.  
slice.

Again and again and again. Down my arms, my thighs, my ankles. They’re everywhere, I can’t escape them. I want to escape them. I want to escape this. I want to escape me.

“Jack! Wake up!” I feel gentle hands shake my shoulder. I gasp and sit up abruptly. “What’s going on?” I rub my eyes, and they come away damp. I’ve been crying in my sleep.   
“You were crying, and you kept moving around and making noises. Were you having a nightmare?” I nod, frowning as more tears drip down my face. Mark pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me.   
“It’s okay now, Sean. I’ve got you.” I turn my face into his chest, breathing the familiar, calming scent.  
“Want to talk about it?” Marks murmurs. I shake my head desperately. He doesn’t need to know how much of a failure I am. He rubs my back soothingly. I bite back the sobs that want to fall from my lips, And try and stem the flow of tears.   
“It’s okay to cry, Sean. We’ve all cried before, on camera and off. Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak, so stop thinking like that.” Felix states randomly.  
“How did you-“  
“How did I know? Because I’ve known you long enough to know what you think like. You’ll think everything is your fault, that it’s weak to cry, that you’ve got to stay strong. That kind of thinking is wrong. It IS okay to cry, and to hurt, you are strong, because the strongest ones are the ones who go through hardship and make it out the other side. You ARE NOT weak. You are the strongest person I know, so don’t put yourself down, even to yourself. Okay?”  
By the time Felix stops talking, I’ve stopped crying. I’m still sniffling, and I want to believe Felix, but I can’t, because I know it’s not true. But I lie. To make him feel better.  
“Okay.”


	10. Meet in the street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix meets a fan in the street and he realises how much he means to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for sticking around long enough to read this :)  
> Contact me on discord @Katie#7899

Sean finally dozed off on Marks shoulder again. He looks peaceful, something I don’t think he’s been in a while. I was truly worried about him, but I didn’t think anyone else had noticed. Then Mark told me he was worried as well, and I knew something was wrong. I’m worried it’s more than depression and anxiety. I’m worried that he might be suicidal, as in, self harming kind of suicidal. He always wears long sleeves, even in the warmer weather. I’ve noticed a few scars on his ankles, and his arms. I don’t know if they’re from him hurting himself, or from him being clumsy. I hope it’s just him being clumsy. I really do.

I pull into the driveway for Sean’s apartment building and look at Mark in the mirror. While I was driving he’d fallen asleep. The pair look so peaceful that I really don’t want to wake them up, but I want them to be comfortable. “Mark, Sean, we’re back. It’s time to wake up.” I say softly. Mark wakes up slowly and goes to stretch, then notices the man still sleeping on him. His whole face turns blissful with a sleepy smile and that’s when I notice how much he really loves Sean.  
“Want to wake him up?” I ask.  
“No, I’ll just carry him inside. He looks so peaceful.” Mark replies. He gently unclips his and Sean’s seat belts and slides out from under Sean. He gets out of the car and gently picks Sean up and rests his head on his shoulder. Sean reflexively curls against Mark and Mark gets that same blissful smile again. We make our way up to Sean’s apartment and I unlock the door. Mark carries Sean into his bedroom, and I wait for him to come back out so we can go. I wait for a while, starting to get impatient until mark comes back out and tells me he’s going to stay here for a little bit and that I can go back to the hotel if I want. I walk back downstairs grumbling to myself along the way. I walk down the street, heading back to our hotel.   
“Pewds? Pewdiepie, is that you?” I hear a young person say from next to me. I look at them and smile.   
“Hey bro, yeah I’m pewdiepie. How’s it going?” I ask out of sheer politeness and my dedication to my fans.  
“Oh my lord, I can’t believe I’m talking to pewdiepie. Um, I just want to say I love your videos and I’m so Grateful to be able to meet you, because I love your videos so much. Oh, my god.” I raise my eyebrows and smile.  
“Jeez, calm down. I’m just another regular person. I just happen to be a bit famous.” She laughs.  
“What’s your name?”  
“Bella Joseph.” She says quietly.  
“Well, Bella, it is awesome to meet you!” I fist bump her.   
“Um, I just want to say Thankyou? For everything you do, because if I hadn’t found your channel, I probably wouldn’t be alive. I probably would have killed myself if LWIAY hadn’t popped up in my suggested. So Thankyou, so much.” I feel tears spring to my eyes as she’s talking. I notice she’s crying and pull her in for a hug.   
“I’m so glad you found my video, because a world with you in it is a much better, brighter world. I don’t want any of my viewers to be thinking like that, because even though I don’t know you all individually, I love every one of you.” I feel tears running down my face. She starts crying as well.   
“Give me your Instagram. I’ll message you when I get back to my hotel room.” She tells me, and I put it in my phone.  
“I really have to go now, because I promised Marzia I’d call her sometime today, and I don’t really want to keep her waiting. But I’ll message you, Bella.”  
I think about it for the rest of the trip back to the hotel.


	11. pls dont kill me im sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry not a chapter (again) more of an explanation

so, a while back, i said i wanted to upload more regularly. well, life has been a bitch and has prevented me from doing so. the reasons are probably shitty excuses, but theyre legit, i promise. so, just over a month ago, i found out my dog had cancer. he went to the vet for a week, and then came home. but he got sick again, so we took him back to the vet a day after he came home. a month ago today, we had to put our dog to sleep, because he had really aggressive tumors in his liver. and now, a month after, im still really shattered. and 2018 has been really tough for me. i came out as bisexual to my brother, and he started abusing me for it. months after, ive been diagnosed with anxiety and depression because of it. Im really sorry, i basically just freaking rambled at you. and im sorry about the uploads too. i love you all so much, and if something like this ever happens to you, make sure you tell somebody straight away, instead of letting it affect you like this.

also im going to try and update or post a oneshot today


	12. just a dream...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sooo, Felix calls marzia, then has a v v v bad dream
> 
> TW BAD DREAMS, MENTIONS OF CHARACTER DEATH
> 
> PLEASE STAY SAFE MY LOVELIES XXXXXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hey guys, im back and i am feeling up to writing again! everything with my brother has cooled down, and ive started getting help from a proffessional. we got a new dog, and hes gorgeous. im happy, sort of, but anyways, ill stop rambling now... ENJOY THE CHAPTER KIDDIES <3
> 
> also i apologise in advance for any spelling mistakes and bad grammar, also for a rubbish plot line

"Hey Marzia!" I say cheerily as soon as she picks up. "Hey, Fe- have you been crying?" she asks as she notices my red eyes and damp cheeks. "uh, yeah. I met a fan in the street, and she told me some really sad things. I'll tell you about it when i come home."

"okay, as long as you're okay?"  
my heart swells with love for her. "yeah, I'm okay, love."

"okay, good, how about Jack?"

"uh, he's not good. I think he's been self harming. I saw scars on his arms, and hes been trying to hide them from us. I don't think Mark has noticed. Jack has seemed to be a little bit happier since we've been here. we took him to a water park today and he loved it. and oh my god, Marzia, Mark kissed Jack! Hes so totally smitten. its sickeningly adorable." Marzia rolls her eyes at me. "grow up felix. let them be in love!"   
we chat for a little bit longer, but i start to get sleepy and i have to end the call. as soon as my head hits the pillow, its lights out.

 

I'm running. towards to forms lying lifeless on the ground. "Mark? Jack?" I cry, shaking Marks arm. then I see theres blood stains on the floor, coming from mark and jack. from their wrists to be precise. I scream loud and piercing. "no! no no no no! Mark, jack... please don't be real...please..." I sob. a hand falls gently on my shoulder and I jump. I look up and it Marzia, but shes different. shes got dark red make up under her eyes and a wicked grin painted on her features. "felix, I've come to tke them.... They'll be free, fe. Isn't that what you want?" i scream and scramble away from her. "let them go, felix. they'll be free!"   
"let us go, Felix!" I shriek as jacks hand grabs my arm.

"Felix! WAKE UP!!" I feel something trembling and realise its me. "For fucks sake, Felix, Wake up!" I jolt awake, sitting up and gasping for air. "are you okay? You were screaming in your sleep, and shouting 'no not jack, not mark!' over and over... and you've been crying."  
"yeah, I'm fine." I wrap my arms around myself.  
"wanna talk about it?"  
"no, I'm fine. it was just a dream."

yeah... just a dream... I hope thats the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS, IF THIS CHAPTER TRIGGERED YOU, PLEASE TALK TO ME AND TELL ME ABOUT IT, I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU. YOU DONT NEED TO SUFFER ALONE. I LOVE YOU ALL SM AND I WANT YOU ALL TO BE HAPPY <3


	13. Try to love me and I’ll try to save you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacks demons still won’t leave him alone, no matter how loved he is. But mark is there to take him away from the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? I’m updating? Jeez, what’s the special occasion?
> 
> But seriously, Thankyou so much for reading, because guess what? Over 1000 people have read this! It’s such a big thing for me, seen as though I didn’t think anyone was going to read this. So Thankyou people so much, you all mean so much to me.

It all started with a video-chapter 13  
Ever since Felix had woken up, he’d been acting strange. He’d had a nightmare, and I’m sure it was about Jack and I. I’m worried about him, he’s not eating, and his eyes are puffy still. 

“Mark, stop worrying. I’ve told a thousand times this morning, I’m fine.” I don’t believe him. “Felix, you were screaming. You haven’t eaten, you’ve hardly been talking, I can tell you’re not okay. Please, talk to me.” He turns away. “Mark, I’m fine.” I roll my eyes. “Whatever. I’m going to go see Sean, if you wanna stay here, fine, if you wanna come, hurry up and get ready.” I stand up and grab my hoodie. I pull it over my head and grab my phone. I turn once more to check on him. He’s still sitting on the couch, staring off into space. “I’m going now. I’ll see you later.” 

When I arrive at Sean’s house, I hear laughter. I raise my fist and knock on the door. I hear hurried footsteps, then the door flies open. “Hey Mark. Jack told me you might be coming round today.” I step inside. “Hey robin. How are you?”   
“Yeah, I’m alright, thanks. How are you?”   
“Yeah, I’m good. Now, listen, Jack is in a bit of a state today. So please, be careful with him. Don’t say anything harsh.” I sigh. “I won’t. Can I see him now, please?” Robin let’s me past him and I make a beeline straight for the lounge. I see Sean on the couch, holding a cushion close to his body. I can tell by how tightly he’s gripping the cushion that robin is right. He is in a state.   
I sink down on the couch next to him. “Sean? Hey, come back to me, Sean.” He glances up and he’s got tears in his eyes. “Mark.” He breathes, and I pull him close. “What’s wrong, Sean?” He just wriggles closer and buries his face in my neck. I wrap my arms around him. “Hey Sean, I need to go now. Remember, I’ve got that hot date.”   
Jack nods. “Bye, Robin.” He murmurs. Robin leaves, and I finally pay attention to Sean. He’s wearing long sleeves, black long sleeves, even though it’s quite warm. “Hey, what’s with the black sleeves? Are we emo now? Should I crank out the My Chemical Romance albums and the black eyeliner?” That manages to get a small chuckle out of him. “Seriously though, J, what’s going on? It’s like, 29 degrees out there, why are you wearing sleeves?” He shrugs. “I was cold. Still am.” I can tell he’s lying, because he always plays with his hands when he’s lying. “Sean, love, can we take the sleeves of please? I want to see your arms.” He gasps, and I can’t tell whether it’s because I called him love or because I want to see his arms. He shakes his head. “Cold.” His fingers tangle together and untangle. “Please? And then we can go get coffee?” Sean pulls away. “Promise?” I grab his hand. “I promise.” He pulls his shirt off, and I gasp. His arms, all the way to his elbows, are covered in fresh cuts and old scars. And his stomach, he’s got fresh cuts near his v line, and long, white scars line his upper stomach. Tears spring to my eyes. “Sean?” I manage to force out. His voice wobbles when he speaks. “M-Mark, I’m sorry. I t-tried so hard, but I couldn’t b-block it o-out.”   
“Oh, bub.” I reach out and pull him into my lap. “I’m not angry. I’m worried. I don’t want to lose you.”  
Sean starts crying again. “Mark, you’re not going to lose me. I have a reason to fight now.”  
“Yeah? What’s your reason?” He rolls his eyes.   
“You. Your my reason, Mark.” My jaw drops. “I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?” I nod slowly, shocked. He leans forwards and connects our lips. My hands drop to his hips and pull him closer. Our lips move together, and eventually we have to pull away for breath.  
“You know, I’m glad you’re going to fight it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thoughts? Kudos? Ideas?


	14. What about a questionnaire?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys answer fan questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey peoples, sorry it’s been so long since I last updated, but I’ve been struggling with some stuff again lately. But anyways, enjoy the chapter! It’s really shitty!

“So Felix...”  
“Yes mark?”  
“You’re flying back tonight.”  
“Yes. I am.” Jacks face fell when he heard me say that. “Fe? W-why? You just got here! You can’t leave!” My heart broke a little when I saw how upset he was, but I had to go. This was affecting me more than I would have imagined it would.  
“Marzia needs me Sean. I have to go.”   
“Well then, let’s at least do something fun before you go? Please?” His voice sounds so broken. “Sure, Sean. What do you want to do?”   
“Can- can we film a video?” Mark looks surprised.   
“Of course!” I practically jump up. “What do you wanna do?”  
“How about, a answering fans questions?”

“Imnotgayiswear asked mark ‘are you ever gonna get married?’” I look at mark. He glances at me, then at jack, then at the camera. “Someday, I’m going to marry the most beautiful person in the world.”   
Jack gets the faintest blush. “Blurryfacesblackparade, fucking emo much, has asked ‘is septiplier real?’” I glance up at jack. He glances at mark. Mark smiles. “Hmm. Good question. What do you think, se-Jack?” Mark stutters over his name. Jack bats his eyelids at mark and lowers his chin, and murmurs lowly, “yes, I believe it is, Markimoo.” He reaches his hand out and strokes marks arm. Mark looks like he’s uncomfortable, and the look only gets worse when jack plopped himself down in his lap. I burst out laughing. “Come on you tease, leave him be. You can’t just tease us shippers like this, god.” Jack climbs off, grinning. Mark sighs and pretends to wipe his brow. “Jeez, what’re you tryna do?” He smiles and chuckles, setting jacks nervous face at ease. We ask a few more questions, then decide it’s time to end the video. “As always, thanks for watching, and as always, see you, in the next videooooo!” Jack cries. We turn the camera off, and soon as we finish recording, Jack is apologising to mark. “I’m so sorry, I went too far.”   
“It’s fine, baby. You didn’t go too far.” Jack doesn’t look sure, so mark plants a kiss on his forehead. “Jeez, Jack, calm down bro. Chill out.” I roll my eyes. “Felix, leave him be.” Mark tells me. I laugh. “I’m just joking, markimoo, Relax. Don’t worry, Jack, I’m joking.” Jack smiles unsurely. “When’s your flight, Fe?” He asks me. “My flight is in...” I check my phone for the time, “two hours.” His eyes start to tear up. “No, no, don’t cry!” I exclaim. He chuckles. “Sorry.” I pull him into a tight hug. “No tears from you, mr septiceye.” He sniffs. “I love you, bro. I want to stay but Marzia needs me.” He nods. “It’s okay, I understand.” He pulls away from the hug and he’s got tear tracks all down his face. Mark stands behind him and hugs him from behind. “I expect a phone call from you when you land, mr pewdiepie.” He says. “Of course, Miss- Er, I mean mr Markiplier.” Jack chuckles. “I guess I had better go, if I’m going to catch this flight.” Jack nods. I pull him in for another hug, and I hold him really tightly. “Remember, Sean, I’m always here for you. I’m a plane flight away, and I can be here as fast I can if you need me. You just need to tell me, okay?” Now I’m the one crying. He nods. “Good.” I kiss his cheek. “No homo, my bro. I’ll leave that for you and Mark.” He chuckles again. “I love you, man. I wish you didn’t have to go.” I sigh. “Me too, man.” I hug mark quickly, and then wish them both happiness, and say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I’m bringing the story to an end soon, if there’s anything you want to see, tell me here or my Twitter is KITTYKAT IS DROWNING and you can DM me there, and I appreciate any input, and thank you for reading this and staying with it  
> Also kudos and comments are appreciated uwu

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, ideas and kudos are much appreciated! Also, sorry for the short chapter


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